Punjabi Wedding Rituals

The Punjabis are best known for their zest for life, vivaciousness and of course, the bhangra, know how to pull all stops when it comes to celebrating. Punjabi Wedding Ceremony is a very lively yet a simple function and is celebrated with lots of relish. The wedding ceremony consists of many rituals, which have a distinctive significance and charisma. These weddings due to their colorful manner have got a major place in Indian movies.

Match Making
Matchmaking among Punjabis strictly follows the caste and descent of the prospective boy or the girl. Punjabis usually marry their daughter and son within the community only. Though relations among different castes and communities are increasingly being accepted by them and it is admirable about them. Horoscopes are matched to see which day is auspicious for the marriage.

Costumes
The wedding dress for the bride includes a Sharara, which is a long following skirt and blouse. There is a dupatta to cover the head. The groom wears a gorgeous Sherwani or a conventional salwar and kurta. But there are no rigid rules here.

Pre Wedding Rituals
There are a number of pre wedding rituals, which makes the Punjabi wedding even more colorful.

Roka: Roka ceremony is performed on a mutually convenient chosen date as `shubh muhurat`. Family members and close friends for basically exchanging gifts and cash attend this function. The girl`s mama (mother`s brother) gives her the nath (nose ring) that she wears on her wedding. The origin of this ceremony lies in the arranged marriage norm where the parents would let out the world that they are Rokalooking for a suitable match for their son or daughter. And once they had found that match, their search had come to an end. Though rings are not exchanged, the couple stands unofficially engaged after this ceremony. The wedding date is fixed after roka.

Sagai: The wedding celebrations begin with the tikka ceremony, held a week to ten days before the wedding (depending on the number of functions to follow) in which the family of the girl visits that of the boy`s carrying beautifully wrapped gifts and the tikka material: a silver tray with a few grains of rice and saffron in a tiny silver bowl, 14 chuharey (dried dates) covered with silver foil and a coconut wrapped in a gold leaf.

Sagan: The ceremony usually takes at the groom`s house. Sacred fire ceremony named "havan" is performed. The girl`s father applies the "tikka" (made of kesar, rice grains and flower petals) on the boy`s forehead who takes the blessing from the girl`s family members. Each of the relatives and friends present from the girl`s side then offers mithai to the boy and gives cash.

Chunni Chadana: On this occasion, the boy`s parents and relatives visit the girl`s house. The boy`s sister presents the bride a red "chunni" or a red sari. After dressing the girl in those clothes, they lead her to the venue of the ceremony where the groom`s mother gives her gifts and adorns her with jwellery. The boy and the girl exchange rings and the girl is given gifts, in cash and kind, by all those present from the boy`s side.

Sangeet: Before the wedding day after Sagan on every night till the wedding day, the relatives and friends get together for singing sessions both at the boy`s as well as the girl`s house. One day is fixed for special sangeet session, which is attended and celebrated by both the sides together.

Mehendi: Mehendi is applied on the bride`s hands and feet either by a family member or by a professional but the important factor is that the Mehendi is sent by the boy`s side as part of the kwar dhoti. Wedding Ceremony

Ceremonies at the girl`s house: The "chuda" ceremony begins with a "havan" or "puja". The oldest members of the family performing this ceremony keep a fast till chuda. The chuda, i.e., the set of cream and red ivory bangles, is not shown to the girl just before the ceremony. After the puja everybody present is supposed to touch the chuda, which symbolizes offering his or her good wishes to the girl. The bride is suppose to sit in front of the four oil lamps lit and to which the oil is constantly added so that the glow will be reflected on her face and she will look more beautiful on the wedding eve. A paste of turmeric powder and mustard oil is applied to her body and then the bride is given a bath with holy water. The bride then wears her bridal attire, which as per tradition given by the maternal uncle.

Sehra Ceremonies at the Groom`s house: The bridegroom is applied a paste of turmeric and mustard oil and is bathed by water brought by his sister in law. He changes into his wedding attire, which is presented to him by his maternal uncle. The boy`s father or an elderly relative ties the "sehra" on his head. The pink turban is touched by all present before it is died on the groom`s head. The groom then leaves for the venue.

At the venue: The bride`s family waits at the entrance to greet the baarat (the groom and his family), who reach singing and dancing. The father, brother, uncles and grandfathers of the groom embrace the corresponding members of the bride`s family. While embracing, they try to lift each other as a show of strength and superiority, amidst much laughter and cheer. When they enter the venue the bride is brought out and the couple exchange garlands. The groom, who is usually taller than the bride, is not supposed to bend while she is garlanding him, to tease the bride as if to say she is the one who would have to compromise in the relationship; he will not bend. Another game played is by placing a ring in a plate filled with milk. The bride and groom dip their hands in the plate and the one who comes out with the ring will dominate in the marriage.

As the time of the mahurat approaches, the boy is led to the "vedi" where the pundit performs puja for the boy. The boy recites the first few mantras only. This is the time for the mischievous pranksters from the girl`s side to grab for the groom`s shoes, which they later exchange for money. Thereafter the girl is led to the "vedi". Then the ritual of "kanya daan" takes place where the girl`s father puts a ring on the boy`s finger before placing his daughter`s hand in his. Thereafter the couple takes the seven pheras around the holy fire. Then the bride puts a foot on a stone as she says no matter what problems come their way, she will be stable - solid as a rock. Her brother pours kheel (a sweet) into her hands, which she pours into her husband`s hands. Just as the kheel cannot return to it`s original state of grain, neither can the bride return to her earlier state of daughter of the house.

Once this is done the boy`s father sprinkles water on the newly-weds to say that if there are misunderstandings between them, he will help calm them down - not add fuel to the fire. The bride then makes a tearful farewell to her new home in what is known as the `bidai`. Traditionally she would sit in a doli (palanquin), which would be carried by the bride`s brothers. Even now some brides sit in a doli, which takes her to the getaway car, where the groom and a few members of his family are waiting to escort her home.

Post Wedding Rituals
As per tradition on her first day in her new home, the bride is supposed to make a sweet dish like halwa or kheer. The parents and relatives of the groom give gifts and presents to the bride. After that the newly wed couple visit the girl`s parents where the girl and boy are given gifts of clothes and jwellery by the girl`s parents and relatives.

Kannada Wedding Rituals

Kannada Weddings are a comparatively simple but pleasurable affair. It should be noted that there are different social communities in Karnataka and there are some dissimilarities in the wedding rituals followed by each of them. A general description of a typical wedding in Karnataka is given in this article.

Kannada wedding costumes
In traditional Kannada weddings, the bride wears a navari or a nine-yard sari and green glass bangles. Moreover, she is adorned with fine gold jwellery of varied designs. The groom wears a silk dhoti and pitambar and a pheta that is a turban. In the right hand he holds a stick, which has been sanctified, in a holy place.

Among the various communities in Kannada, in the Baliga community wedding the wedding dress is completely different as the bride is dressed in white silk sari with contrasting colored border. The groom wears white silk dhoti edged with zari border and a Valli, which is an elongated cloth of the same material draped over the shoulders. He also wears a white shirt and adorns himself with ornamental turban of gold embellishment called pheta. A large tilak is marked his forehead.

The Kannada Coorg bride wears a customary brocade sari draped in distinctive Coorg style. A shroud covers the bride`s head. In Kannada weddings the groom`s family presents the bride five sarees. Each saree is meant for particular occasions during the wedding. During Dare Puja, the bride wears a grand Kancheevaram silk saree. A simple saree is worn during the haldi ritual. An elegant saree is selected for Puja and when the bride sits near the groom after Griha Pravesh.

Pre-Wedding Rituals
Some very fascinating pre-wedding customs are followed in Kannada wedding. Some of the wedding rituals done before the main wedding day in Karnataka are as follows:

Nischay Tamulam or Fixing of the Alliance: This is the solemnization ceremony after the matchmaking is over. After the parents of the forthcoming bride and the groom agree to the match, the alliance is solemnized with a plate of betel leaves and supari. The parents of the boy go to the bride`s home and present her a sari, blouse piece, coconut and fruits. The girl`s parents give the boy a dhoti, coconut and many fruits. A priest recites mantras. He also matches the horoscopes of the boy and the girl and thus fixes the date and time of the wedding.

Nandi: This ceremony is performed a few days prior to he wedding to ensure that the marriage takes place without any hitches/problems. There is a puja with coconut, aarti and a kalash or the copper pot. The first invitation card is offered to God.

Havan: On the day of the marriage, a havan is performed in the couple`s respective houses with strict recitation of mantras.

Departure of the Groom`s Party: After taking the blessings of the elders, gods, and goddesses in the house, the groom with his wedding baraat proceeds towards the wedding venue.

Greeting of the Barat: When the groom and his party reach the wedding venue, the sumangalis or married women approach the procession from the girl`s side and perform an arti. After the aarti is completed, these sumangalis lead the bridegroom inside the marriage hall.

Kaashi Yatre: This is a playful ritual with the groom pretending to get angry as nobody is searching for a bride for him and asks to go to Kashi on a pilgrimage. He carries a walking stick, an umbrella, a fan, a coconut, a small packet of rice and dal and a dhoti. During this ritual, his maternal uncle convinces him and brings him in front of the girl that he has chosen for him or offers his daughter`s hand for marriage.

Wedding Rituals

The Kannada wedding rituals are described below

Mandap Puja: On the day of marriage the first ritual that is performed is the Mandap Puja. This is to purify the mandap or the hall in which the marriage is to take place and make it appropriate for an event as sacred as a marriage. The bride`s father brings forth the groom to the mandap and is worshipped in a ceremony called the Var Puja. The bride`s parents honor him by washing his feet with pure, clan water and offer him a silk dhoti and pitambar, which he wears and sits for the rest of the marriage rituals.

Jaimala or the Garlanding Ceremony: In the Kannada wedding, the uncles of the bride escort her to the mandap. An interesting custom is followed, that is no one is supposed to see the bride`s face. Her sister shields her face with a lovely fan of peacock feathers. The bride and groom stand on the either side of a white cloth that separates them. For the chanting of the marriage mantras, known as the Mangalashtam, the bride and the groom take standing positions. The cloth is then removed, and the bride and groom garland each other amidst the large crowd of guests and chanting of mantras.

Dhare Herdu or the Giving Away of the Bride: In the rituals of Dhare Herdu, the bride`s father gives away the bride to the groom. He takes the groom`s hand and places it on the bride`s hand. The moment when the bride is given over to the groom, her father ceremonially pours water into the groom`s hands. This ritual is called dhara, signifying that she is now his. Corn or rice is then put into the havan five times, before the 7 pheras or the Saptapadi starts off.

Saptapadi: The groom`s angavastram and the bride`s pallav are tied together with a nuptial knot. The bride follows the groom`s footsteps seven times encircling the holy fire called the saptapadi. Five married women tie the mangalsutra or the holy thread while the bridegroom holds it around the neck of the bride. This ritual is one of the most important ones in Kannada wedding. The couple then bows before the elders, and visits the temple for blessings.

Post-Wedding Rituals

Post - wedding rituals of a traditional Kannada Wedding are very simple. They are described below -

Vidaai: Vidai ceremony signifies the tearful farewell of the bride from her paternal home for her husband`s house. The parents of the bride gift her an umbrella, vessels, cot and many more things by their own wish to help her set up her new home. In Kannada wedding, the bride is escorted by her brother who stays at the groom`s house for the night and comes back home the next day.

Graha Pravesh: Welcoming of the bride into her new home is called Griha Pravesh. The bride lightly kicks a kalash full of rice with her right foot that is kept at the threshold of the house. After this ceremony, the name change ceremony takes place. Here the groom decides a name for his bride and he inscribes with a ring on a plate filled with rice. On the second day the bride`s family comes to invite and take the newly wedded bride and the groom to their house. The couple stays at the bride`s place for a few days. Again after some days, the groom`s family goes over to his in-laws place to bring back the bride and the groom.

Kannada wedding feast
Kannada weddings are occasions for vegetarian delights. Some essential delicacies are four types of curry, sweet chutney, salt, pickle and two types of kosambari, which are salads, made of yogurt and cucumber or beetroot. Papad and Payasam are the indispensable preparations in the menu.

Source: www.indianetzone.com

Marwari Wedding Rituals

Marwari Wedding is a traditional and elaborate affair. Pre and post wedding ceremonies stretch for days where tradition and customs take precedence over everything else.

Pre Wedding Rituals
Engagement: The engagement ceremony or the "Sagai" takes place at the house of the groom. This is strictly all male affair. On this day, the bride`s brother puts "tilak" on the groom`s forehead. A sword, clothes, sweets etc. are given to the groom. "Ganapati Sthapna" and "Grih Shanti" is the performed a few days prior to the wedding, this is important as all ceremonies commence only after this ritual. A sword along with fruits sweets and other gifts are presented to the groom.

Pithi Dastoor: Engagement ceremony is followed by The Pithi Dastoor ceremony, which involves the bride/groom and continues until the day of the wedding. The actual ceremony consists of application of turmeric and sandal wood paste to the bride/ groom who cannot leave the house after this. The bride dresses in an orange Rajasthani dress and is then brought under a silken canopy, which is held up with swords at four corners by four ladies who must belong to the same clan as the bride. She is brought to the ladies gathering, who then apply the paste to her.

Mehfils: Mehfils are an integral part of every Rajasthani wedding. It is usually held in the evenings, they are again segregated into the `ladies mehfil` and the `gents mehfil`. The guests perform the ghoomar (a special dance done in a group). The bride at the mehfil is given an important position to sit and watch the proceedings. If the ladies` mehfil is in progress at the groom`s house, then only the groom is privileged to attend the all-women affair. The men have their own mehfil, where singers perform and these are strictly all male.

Janev: In the Janev ceremony, the sacred thread is given to the would-be groom on the eve of his wedding. The groom is dressed in saffron robes like an ascetic and performs a havan before wearing the thread.

Palla Dastoor: On the day of wedding or maybe a day prior to it, the Palla Dastoor, which consists of clothes, jewellary and gifts for bride are brought to bride`s house by the groom`s relatives.

Baraat: The baraat consists only male members. The groom is usually dressed in a gold and orange traditional dress of achkan, turban and a churidar and jootis. All members, including the groom who rides an elephant or a horse, carry swords.

Wedding Ceremony
Aarti: As soon as the actual wedding ceremony begins the groom is taken inside to the ladies section where he is received by the bride`s mother with the traditional aarti, and is then taken to the mandap to perform the wedding rituals. The groom has to be accompanied only by a male member of the family, either a married relative or his younger brother or a younger male cousin. The bride must keep her face covered throughout the wedding ceremony. After jaimala or varmala ceremony, the bride and groom is taken to another mandap where rituals related to phera are performed.

Granthi-Bandhan: The next step is `granthi-bandhan` or tying the knot. In this the either the sister of the groom or the priest ties cloth around the groom`s waist is tied to the chunni of the bride. The ceremony is symbolic of the union of two individuals. From this day they become one entity.

Paanigrahan: The groom takes the bride`s hand in his hand. It is again a symbol of this most pious union. It signifies that they will now be together in good times and bad.

Pheras: Then the groom and the bride go around the fire. This act is called `pheras`. In a Marawari wedding only four `pheras` are done in the mandap, rest of the three pheras are performed at the entrance. Following the tradition, in the two pheras, the girl is in the front and in the other two the boy leads.

Ashwahrohan: In the Ashwarnarohan ceremony the girl puts her foot on a grinding stone. The custom is symbolic of steadfastness and symbolic of facing every challenge with courage. Then the brothers of the bride puts `kheel` or puffed rice in the bride`s hand, which are passed to the groom`s hand and then offered to the fire. This ritual is symbolic of brother`s happiness and wishes of prosperity for his sister and her husband.

Vamang-Sthapana and Sindurdaan: Later, in a ceremony called ` vamang-sthpana` the groom requests the bride to sit on his left side, because the heart is in the left side of the body. This signifies that the groom is accepting the bride and is establishing her in his heart. This is followed by sindurdaan ceremony wherein the groom fills the bride`s centre hair parting with sindoor or vermillion.

Saptapadi: The bride and the groom walk seven steps together. This signifies that till now they have walked alone but from now on, they will always walk together in synchronization. While observing the custom, the bride and the groom utter seven sentences, which are in fact promises, they make regarding their conduct towards each other. After this `pherpatta` is done which signifies that the bride can freely proceed to her in-laws house. After this the sister of the groom does the `sargunthi` or adorning of the girl`s hair. This ritual signifies acceptance of bride by the groom`s family.

Aanjhala Bharaai: Following the `aanjhala bharai` tradition, a bag full of money is put in the new bride`s lap by her father-in-law. This is his way of welcoming her into his family and also to make her aware of her family responsibilities. The bride then distributes a part of this money to her sister-in-law and her husband.

Paharavani: The groom is then taken for `paharavani` wherein he is made to sit on a new cloth or asana and is welcomed by a Tika. He is also given gifts in the form of money, clothes and other things for his personal use. A silver utensil or kachola is given to the groom`s father. The woman folk of the bride`s side then take the groom for the fun-filled `shloka kahalai` session wherein he is made to recite poems or dohas. After this, the bride worships the threshold (dahaleez) of her paternal home and breaks an earthen diya on it. The groom and the bride are escorted out and they leave for the groom`s house.

Bidai: At the time of the bidai, a coconut is placed under the wheel of the car before the bride lifts her veil for the husband after the wedding. At this stage, the groom usually gives a piece of jewelry to his bride.

Post Wedding Rituals

Grihapravesh: The bride still wears the veil while the puja and other ceremonies take place. A few games are played between the bride and the groom.

Pagelagni: This is a ceremony where the bride, still in veil, is formally introduced to all the family members of the groom who bless her and give her gifts. The veil is then finally removed.

Bengali Wedding Rituals

The tying of the nuptial knot in traditional Bengali style entails a series of elaborate and colorful rituals, which are not only enjoyable but are of great significance in conjugal life.
The blowing of the conch shell and ululation by the women gathered at the wedding venue are most characteristic of a Bengali marriage. Shehnai recital played by live musicians or else played over a music system adds to this symphony. The purpose is to draw the attention of all and sundry to the wedding and also to summon the invitees. It is also a kind of social declaration from the family to the rest of the society.

PRE-WEDDING RITUALS

Ashirbaad - On an auspicious day the elders of the groom's side go to bless the bride and vice versa, by sprinkling husked rice and trefoil on their heads and giving them gold ornaments. It is a kind of acceptance of the boy and the girl on both sides.

Aai Budo Bhaat - A bachelorette party for the bride before the D-day thrown by relatives or friends. It signifies their approval as well, and also encourages community feeling.

Holud Kota - A ceremony in which five or seven married women of the household grind turmeric with mortar and pestle and anoint the bride with turmeric paste. This brightens up the bride's complexion and makes her skin glow.

Dodhi Mongol - At dawn on the day of marriage seven married ladies adorn the bride's hands with the traditional bangles Shakha and Paula - one pair of red and one pair of white bangles, and feed her a meal of curd and rice, the only meal for the day.

MAIN WEDDING RITUALS

Bor Jatri - The members of the groom's house as well as his friends dress in their best attire and journey to the bride's house where the wedding takes place.

Bor Boron - When the bor jatri reaches the bride's place, usually the mother of the bride along with other members come out to welcome the groom and his family by showing the holy earthen lamp, sprinkling trefoil, and husked rice placed on a bamboo winnow (kula). Then they are served sweets and drinks.

Potto Bastra - After the groom is seated at the chadnatolla (wedding altar and canopy) - the sanctum sanctorum where only the groom, bride and the priest takes their place, the groom is offered new clothes by the person who is to do the sampradaan - a kind of gift to the boy from the girl's side.

Saat Paak - The bride, usually seated on a low wooden stool called pidi is lifted by her brothers and is taken round the groom in seven complete circles. The significance is they are winded up securely to each other.

Mala Badal - After the circles are completed, still sitting high on the piri, the bride and the groom exchange garlands of fragrant flowers thrice. This is the first step in which they accept each other.

Subho Dristi - After garlanding one another the bride and the groom are made to look at each other in front of all the assembled invitees. This exchange of loving glance is to initiate them to be together officially by the society.

Sampradan - The bride then takes her place at the chadnatolla where an elderly male member of the bride's family hands her over to the groom and the couple's hands are bound by the sacred thread amidst recital of Vedic chants and are placed on the mangal ghot - a brass pitcher filled with water that is covered with mango leaves attached to one twig and a green coconut placed on it.

Yagna - The bride and groom sit in front of the sacred fire and chant mantras after the priest. Agni, the fire god is made the divine witness to the marriage.

Saat Paak - Seven circular rounds are taken by the couple around the fire thereby solemnizing the occasion.

Anjali - An offering to the fire is made. The bride's brother puts puffed rice (khoi) in the hands of the bride, and the groom standing close to her holds her hands from the back and extends their arms forward. They then pour the offering into the fire together.

Sindoor Daan and Ghomta - Once again seated at their respective places in chadnatolla the groom applies sindoor or vermilion (a symbol of marriage worn by Hindu women thereafter) on the bride's hair-parting. The bride then covers her head with a new sari offered by the groom as ghomta or veil.

POST-WEDDING RITUALS

Bidaay - This is a farewell - mixed moment of joy and sorrow as the bride is bid adieu with blessings of her parents and relatives to start a new life with her beau.

Kaal Ratri - After the couple reaches the groom's house and the initial welcome ceremony is over they are separated for the night, probably to get a refreshing sleep and prepare for the next day's final wedding ceremony.

Bou Bhaat & Bodhu Boron - The girl cooks and serves all the members of her husband's family. A banquet is held to treat the guests who lavish gifts on the new bride.

Phool Shojja - The couple is adorned with flowers and are left together alone in their room to enjoy conjugal bliss on a bed laid with flowers.